I've always been a follower of Christ. I grew up in a Catholic household. I always went to church on Sundays. I have always believed in God, but now? I'm actively seeking the Lord. Let me explain. You can be a Christian, and accept Christ into your life - but you're missing out if you're not engaged and actively reaching out to the Lord. You see, I felt like my faith began to plateau. I believed in God, but I was doing the minimal amount of work. I only went to church and I went to catechism up until my sophomore year of high school. I was well, just a believer. I didn't do much serving growing up. I think I was this way because I thought believing was enough, that by going to church I was set for heaven. But now, I know believing is so much more than just marking present. It is about serving the Lord, loving your neighbor (even your enemies!), and being there for the people around you. I realize this until the end of my senior year of high school. In my senior year, I began to lose my friends, which was everything to me in High School. The guy I liked didn't pay attention to me and only texted me at his convenience. I didn't understand why this was happening to me. I went from having so many friends, getting lots of attention, having fun to just end up being alone. It felt like my little high school world was crumbling down. I started to be a part of drama, and I hated every moment at school. I let people be the source of happiness, I feel like at a certain extent, I let my vanity take control. When you build you happiness on worldly things, on desires of the flesh * SPOILER ALERT* That happiness can come crashing down, at any moment. That type of happiness is weak, fragile, it's like building a house with no good foundation. It'll eventually fall. Now looking back, I think I liked the validation I got from others, comments like "you're cute" or "you're a good friend." I also always had someone to text, guy or girl, I was always socializing. In high school whether you like it or not, its about your social status. Are you pretty? Are you funny? Smart? Cool? Athletic? If you didn't fit in either category, you were lame, or weird. My senior year, since it had to be the "best year ever" I felt a need to fit in. Changing my style, being pretty, being fun. My identity was whatever others wanted of me, and high school was my world.
When I was losing friends, attention, it humbled me. I realized that people shouldn't be the source of my happiness. All of these things that were important to me in high school, was now stripped away. But in the midst of my loneliness, sadness, and confusion, I prayed. I remember thinking, "Lord, I am giving this to you. It is your will." I was hurt because of my friendships deteriorating, I was hurt because none of the guys that I would talk to would be interested in who I am as a person. Two weeks later, these girls (Juli and Michelle) in my Spanish class invited me to their church. They had a youth group every Wednesday and wanted me to go. When I went, this was all foreign to me. By the end of service, I was pretty excited to come back, I loved it. Interestingly enough, the person speaking was talking about how to know when the Holy Spirit is calling you. I felt like I was being called back. So much happened after that, I became closer friends to those girls who invited me to church. That day, I met my current boyfriend. The people that God put in my life pushed me to God himself. It is fascinating how amazing God is. All of this happened so quickly, but I know it was God's timing, it was perfect. I kept going to the youth group, I began to read the bible more. I started to be a part of a community, and I belonged. When I graduated high school, I ended up asking my youth leader, Lydia if I could be a youth leader as well. I feel like I dived in, I felt God leading me, so I was all for it. I'm now a youth leader, leading 7th-grade girls. They're a blessing, and my story of how I became an active Christian brought me there. God was working when I felt like my little high school world was crumbling down. Now looking back, he was crumbling it down because He wanted my world, to only be Him. He wanted me to have my eyes fixed on Him. I like to think that my story is that of a wildflower, still growing even under harsh conditions - because Jesus Christ is the living water I drink from. My Testimony doesn't have a WOW factor, I'm an average girl, and I am blessed to have the family, friends, and community that I have. But my testimony is about an inactive Christian, that became active in their relationship with God. I pray that my story inspires you to do the same. If you're a new Christian, old Christian, or even a non-believer, I pray that this sparks your heart and seek God.
Sincerely, Clarissa